The Department of Harper Heritage releases the greatest poem evah!!!!

The Harper Government is pleased to announce the Harper collection of the Harper form of poetry, henceforth to be known as harperetry.

 (Book cover by Malicebot Steve Harper)

Tithes Donations go to the Harper King for Life fund.
Located in the Harper building at the corner of Harper st. and Harper ave.

Song of Myself

I celebrate myself, and sing myself,

And what I assume you shall assume,

I breathe the fragrance myself and know it and like it,

The distillation would intoxicate me also,

And I know that the hand of God is the promise of my own,

And I know that the spirit of God is the brother of my own,

Do you take it I would astonish?

Does the daylight astonish? does the early redstart twittering

through the woods?

Whimpering and truckling fold with powders for invalids, conformity

goes to the fourth-remov'd,

I wear my hat as I please indoors or out.

Why should I pray? why should I venerate and be ceremonious?

Having pried through the strata, analyzed to a hair, counsel'd with

doctors and calculated close,

I find no sweeter fat than sticks to my own bones.

I know I am august,

I do not trouble my spirit to vindicate itself or be understood,

I exist as I am, that is enough,

Divine am I inside and out, and I make holy whatever I touch or am

touch'd from,

The scent of these arm-pits aroma finer than prayer,

This head more than churches, bibles, and all the creeds.

If I worship one thing more than another it shall be the spread of

my own body, or any part of it,

Writing and talk do not prove me,

I carry the plenum of proof and every thing else in my face,

With the hush of my lips I wholly confound the skeptic.

Disclaimer:  any resemblance this work bears to, say, anything written by anyone other than Steve Harper is a Liberal plot hatched by Justin Trudeau who is really bald under that thick, wavy wig.  ADSCAM!!!

Next step: interviewing himself.

This is great.  Fucking hilarious, in fact.  Like it was written for a sit-com where the main dude thinks he’s the only one who knows what’s going on when really, he’s the only one who doesn’t.  Makes you want to story-board it.

The Prime Minister of Canada blew into central Vancouver Island Wednesday afternoon to tout facilities being built with federal dollars and provide some photo ops for local media and MPs.

"Did they tell you this is all oyster shells?" Stephen Harper said to the media, assembled behind a make-shift partition 10 metres away at the Deep Bay Field Research Station.

He paused a moment, holding a crushed shell…The dozen reporters present, surprised he'd even acknowledge them, said nothing.

So far, Harper true to character, everyone exactly where the master strategist wanted them...But then -

His security men, looking the part in dark suits (with bulges) and sunglasses, kept looking our way and beyond, into the trees. His handlers, who had been busy imposing the rules of the game ("I want you over there, sir, with the rest of the media"; "Remember, no questions. Do you have a problem with that?") kept poker faces also. The people with him, MP James Lunney (Nanaimo-Alberni), VIU president Dr. Ralph Nilson and project manager Brian Kingzett, stopped chatting with the Prime Minister and waited.

Sorta like when everyone except the emperor, so wrapped in his ego he’s oblivious to all else, realizes he has no clothes.  But the serfs keep right on pretending, acting as though every journalist there hadn’t just ignored the Prime Minister of Canada’s question.

Since nobody else said anything, Mr. Harper finished the thought himself. "It is," he said. Then he returned to face his hosts and continue his banter with them, just out of earshot.

Well, many Canadians are beginning to suspect he talks to himself because he’s the only company he really enjoys.

And you have to think that Mr. Harper might ultimately be the loser in this game he's playing, setting himself apart from the media rabble. Because while it may be safer in some ways, it also has its risks: being seen as lacking courage is one of them, and failing to address local concerns is another.

Hmmm…lack of courage.  Proroguing Parliament rather than face the consequences of his actions; hiding behind the troops, behind public servants, behind his own MPs; never, ever, ever admitting he made a mistake.  I think old Steve is past that tipping point.

Look! Look!!!!! Look at me, how tough I am!!!!

Some people never really grow up.  They never reach that self-actualization zone where they know who they are, and are comfortable there.

They are the ones who buy expensive showy cars so that others will notice them.  Their sense of their own existence is determined as how they see themselves reflected in others eyes.  They constantly position themselves where they will be noticed, and their actions are meant to garner praise, admiration, and awe.

They feel real only when they believe they are affecting the lives of others.  They talk tough, like they are in control all the time, like they are a force to be reckoned with, like they are a man’s man.

Their language always gives them away.

"The entire planet has been able to witness that Canada is now a major actor when it's time to intervene in natural disasters," Harper said.

So is that why we are helping Haiti?  So the entire planet can witness our greatness?  The disaster, it seems, is but an opportunity for Stevo to flex the countries big, tough, muscles.

And tough we are, according to him.

The purchase and use of C-17 transport planes is an example of the "hard power" requirements of the type of relief work soldiers are now doing in Haiti, Prime Minister Stephen Harper said during a tour of the country.

We used to be wimps, he tells his audience (presumably the entire planet), back when those soft on everything Liberals ran the show.  Hell, even Canada’s policies were soft.

Harper said there was a "time when that kind of heavy-lift aircraft didn’t fit Canada’s soft power policies. But our government bought them for the hard power requirements of today’s world. Now we’re using them for relief work.

But fear not.  No longer will we be wimps in the eyes of the world.  Captain Everything is here to make sure of that.

"What is the moral of the story? To do soft power, you need hard power. You need a full range of capabilities."

I suspect, however, that Steve who has to be the centre of everything, all the time, is really trying to show Canadians, the world, the universe, and everything what a tough guy he is.  What a man’s man.

And they're all gonna look at him.

***more (and better stuff) here.  About Harper's lie in this matter, and an explanation of hard power and soft power.