Holy South Park, Batman!

Like a really, really annoying Cartman episode -

Seriously.  How many pictures of Harper on the phone do we have to pay for to stay informed?  How many staged shots of Stevie must come out of our tax dollars in his endless quest for a majority so that he can completely destroy our democracy and force his narrow, atavistic ideology into all aspects of our lives.

How many more.  How, how many more?

Meanwhile, as Steve is gettin' the job dun doing real important shit and making sure we see him in all his glory and many variations of The Phone Call, news average Canadians don't give a shit about -

Transport Canada says no new incidents or intelligence information prompted its security branch to send a "vigilance" notice to airlines, airports and the federal agency in charge of airport screening a week ago—contradicting statements by Transport Minister John Baird and Public Safety Minister Peter Van Loan. 

So, as I said a few days ago, these terrorist scares are bull shit, most likely spewed out by Baird and The Mouth Van Loan at Steve's orders to divert attention from what monumentally, undemocratic, lying fuck-ups they and their entire party are, and to shove through appalling changes to security that violate our rights and freedoms.

And just in case any of you are about to scream about those Liberal appointed public servants at Transport Canada just trying to give those poor Conservatives a hard time by making this story up -

The statements from the two ministers, claiming the government was of aware of new information about potential terrorist activity, appear also to have diverged from security assessments at the time by the Transportation Security Administration in the United States.

And if the Americans are saying that Baird and Van Loan are lying sacks of shit, it must be so.

In  case Johnny and Petey try to say they simply both, through sheer coincidence miss-spoke, take noote that during interviews held days later, both confirmed what they had said earlier.

Dewar and Holland had a few words to say, explaining that the government needs to be honest about security risks, they owe it to Canadians, and that by exaggerating risks for political reasons, people won't know what to believe when a real security risk is announced.

Really.  Considering the many, many cases of misinformation and outright falsehoods Steve & Co. have prompted, we should just assume everything they tell us is a lie.

Harper and Co. doing more real important shit.

So good of Steve to keep us up-to-date on what Canadians really care about: more pictures of Steve.

                      
An’ check eet out, mang!  A 13 second video, with no sound! (just creeeepy) (original, without sound)



How fucking cool is that?

We can set the video on a loop, sit back, and just imagine what VERY IMPORTANT words the Big Man is sharing with his VERY IMPORTANT Ministers of VERY IMPORTANT shit.

Might as well imagine what’s being said since this is obviously a staged shot of a fake meeting meant to deceive what the CONs think of as a very stupid public into thinking Steve & Co. are hard at work.

Canadians don’t really care about what is actually said in meetings so why not just hold fake ones?  Why bother telling Canadians tiresome little details about changes in security measures that could affect us in our travels, in our daily lives?  Why even bother making information reasonably available to those radical few who might actually want to be informed? 

We just want those shiny photos of Steve doing...stuff.

This photo and video, like most from the PMO, do provide us simple-minded, average Canadians with a little direction.  Just a nudge in the right-wing direction.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper receives a national security briefing from Public Safety Minister Peter Van Loan, Foreign Affairs Minister Lawrence Cannon, National Defence Minister Peter MacKay, Minister of Justice and Attorney General of Canada Rob Nicholson. 

And golly-gee!  What a coincidence that we are fed this sudden bull shit diversion security alert.

So here we see Steve receiving a briefing by making the others shut the fuck up and listen, because...well, get real, guys.  We have MacKay thinking, “Man!  I can’t believe I let this S.O.B. screw me out of the leadership.”  Nicholson is wondering if he should use his position as Minister of Justice and Attorney General of Canada to have Steve declared legally insane or if he should just go down with the sinking ship.  Cannon is thinking his French is better than Harper’s and his hair more natural looking, so if he keeps his mouth shut, lets MacKay and Steve talk, he can let them drown in their own idiocy and snap up the leadership.  The Mouth Van Loan is waiting in his bus-boy suit to see if Harper actually wants coffee in his prop cup - note the cashing in on the Beatles thing.  (h/t BCL) 

‘Cause even when our PM is hard at werk protectin’ avrige Canajuns, the chattering classes,  and the elite  who aren’t that interested in Parliament or what it does, he is just the coolest dude evah!  Why, he’s so cool he can make Canada more stable without a Parliament!

For you idiots out there who have been commenting on articles relating to this VERY IMPORTANT meeting and saying things like “good to see our PM hard at work!” “Finally, a PM we can be proud of!”  and “We are so lucky to have a PM who gets things done instead of wasting time in Parliament debating,” rub your two brain cells together, wait for that tiny flash, and think - fast - before the light goes out: if it’s a briefing on security, where are the folks who actually, in real life that is, do such briefings with Ministers?  That would be the specialists from various departments: Deputy Ministers and reps from DFAIT, the RCMP, DND, and Transport. (more on this here with The Jurist)

Speaking of which, where is John Baird, how dumb is he, and why, oh why does he hate Canadians?  As Minister of Transport, shouldn’t he be at a national security briefing that came up as a result of concerns over transportation security?

Oh, I see...he’s busy shaking down elderly women and keeping Canada safe from grannies.

Meanwhile, in news that average Canadians don’t give a shit about:


The country's budget watchdog and some of Canada's leading economists are contradicting Finance Minister Jim Flaherty, saying he cannot balance the books without raising taxes or slashing spending.  Parliamentary Budget Officer Kevin Page warned Monday Canada could be headed back to the financial bad old days of the 1970s and 1980s when the country was crippled by public debt. 

Who needs Second Life to escape to when we have Steve Harper creating an imaginary environment for us?