Boo-hoo-fucking-hoo.

Mr. Clement said he is well aware of what is being said about him. He acknowledges it’s “not fun.”  “I know I don’t have very many allies in the media on this. I’m kind of alone out here,” he said.

Gee, that’s too bad.  You’re religious though, aren’t you Tony?  So take heart, this is probably all part of your god’s plan, everything happens for a reason and all that.

This is probably your god’s way of saying “Tony done a bad, bad, thing.”

Lying,  setting innocent, well meaning people up for a fall, mis-using your position for personal and party gain...I believe your god does not approve of those things.

Maybe he’s also trying to teach you about the harm you do to others by letting you see what it feels like to be under constant attack. 

But you’ll never quite get it, because those you helped set up  and destroy were telling the truth,  simply trying to do their jobs with dedication.  Unlike you and the other Harperites who lie and destroy others for personal gain, for your party, for your mortal master, and for your narrow ideology.

Have your angels abandoned you as well?  When I went to Catholic school, the virgin penguins told me the angels are very sad when people lie and turn their backs on us.

The penguins were also very fond of saying “you shall reap what you sow.”

So try to get the message.  It’s part of your god’s plan: what you’re going through now is what you had planned for Munir Sheikh and the folks at Stats Can.  But Sheikh wouldn’t take on your lie.  You own it.  Wear it.
                                           
Oh yeah.  Last bit of advice.  Don’t try to ride your camel through the eye of a needle unless you turn both cheeks.  Just thought I should point that out.

An aside - if someone chooses to flaunt their religious beliefs in public for political gain, then those beliefs are fair game in the public domain.

Entropy : a function of a system's tendency towards spontaneous change

So that’s what harper’s ideology is based on.

Entropy and the census:

Back in mid-July the long form sucked because it generated bad data :
PMO spokesman Dimitri Soudas suggested the census generated bad data, noting in a widely circulated e-mail that “21,000 Canadians registered Jedi knight as a religion in the 2001 census.”

July 13, 2010, the long form sucked because it was intrusive and applied heavy-handed tactics:
"I think that government forcing people, threatening to put people in jail if they don't tell the government how many bathrooms they have is a bit heavy-handed, and a bit ridiculous frankly," (Baird) said in Ottawa.

Yesterday, August 5, 2010, the long form didn’t suck anymore, in fact was quite good:
“Yeah, there are groups that are upset. … Hey, listen, they had a good deal going,” Mr. Clement said Thursday following a meeting with fellow MPs in Ottawa.  “They got good, quality data and the government of Canada was the heavy.

August 5, 2010, the long form is still great, but once more uses heavy-handed tactics which Harperites want no part of:
Mr. Clement, however, said Ottawa no longer wants to act as data collection enforcer for statistics users. “It worked for them. Doesn't mean it worked for other Canadians.”

August 5, 2010, who the hell needs it anyway?:
“All these provincial governments and these social institutions and private businesses – we’ll get them some data that will be useful and reliable,” (Clement) said.

Great!  Useful and reliable.  From the HarperCONs.  Like this useful and reliable data upon which the decision has been made to spend 9.1 billion taxpayer dollars on unreported criminals:

“If you ask, is there unreported crime in Canada, there’s unreported crime, there’s no question about it,” Nicholson (said)…“I get anecdotal evidence and there are certainly some studies on that.”

Wow!  Anecdotal evidence!  Think of the cost savings! 

Finley can go hang out in the Market in Ottawa, and for the price of a pack of cigarettes and a little pocket change, she can gather reams of anecdotal evidence on the need for adult literacy programs, job training, transitional programs for people who lives have suddenly been shot to hell.

Leona Aglukkaq can join her (just need one Parl. Assistant handing out cigarettes that way) to get plenty of anecdotal evidence on the need for rehab centres, safe injection sites, half-way houses, temporary shelter.

Prentice can borrow a fishing rod from Scott Reid and go hang out with the natives on the Wabigoon River system catching fish no one can eat while they swap anecdotes. 

Oh, this could add up after all.  A better solution to collecting useful and reliable evidence at low cost with little to no intrusive methods would be to send a few MPs with their Parliamentary aids to hang out where the real Canadians go.  The place where common sense is found.  Tim Horton’s. 

Wait…still to expensive.  All those Parliamentary photographers…

Got it!  Create a new Ministry, the Ministry of Truth.  Put Max Bernier in charge.  Hell, if he can get useful and reliable info on the long form by receiving over 1,000 e-mails without even asking for input, just think – think what he can do if he’s on a mission!  And if anyone is worried about their personal anecdotal information getting into the hands of a hot biker chick with ties to the Mafia and Hell’s Angels, don’t worry.  Maxie doesn’t print out the e-mails.  He doesn’t even save them.  But he remembers each and every one.
Then Maxie can call whatever Minister may be interested, pass on the useful and reliable info, and the said Minister can make changes that affect all our lives.  Over the summer, of course.  When the House isn’t sitting.  Cheaper that way, and really, average Canadians just aren’t that interested in how their tax dollars are spent, or how their lives will be affected by sweeping changes.

If any of you need any further convincing, just think of the savings:  we could get rid of all researchers, planners, strategists, policy makers, and legal teams from all departments.  That would mean far less support/admin. Staff, and barely a handful of HR staff.  Communication staff?  Why pay those assholes!  Since PCO has to vet every piece of communication they produce for the public as it stands now,  just get PCO to make the products from the start.  In fact, we could get rid of PCO altogether and have the lot done by the PMO!!!!

This is very exciting.  I can’t wait to stop at Timmie’s on the way in tomorrow and gather useful and reliable information so I can put together a portfolio and apply for a job with the PMO.

Care to help a fellow blogger with a few anecdotes?

Field Day - Or is that DAYzed and CONfused?

His mother would be so proud.  Doris had his name in print more than any other Canadian, today.

A few gems:

Best blog quote:

Doris' cheery crime shoppers philosophy on prisons seems to be : If you build them, they will come. (Alison at Dawg’s Blawg - great photoshop as well!) 

Must read analysis of the CONs’ strategy of inventing a crisis to create a need, then apply the results to move toward a very frightening goal.  Brilliant and chilling piece by Boris at TGB

Boris makes excellent points.  It is difficult not to laugh at Dino Doris and his foot-in-mouth disease, but what the Harperites are doing, and how they are managing to by-pass legislation and reality to do it is no laughing matter.  Those speak of a frightening, ideological, very hostile takeover of our rights and democracy.

Letters from the Ottawa Citizen, August 5, 2010:

...Mr. Day might well have borrowed from the Queen of Hearts: Minister Day: “Alice, my dear, are you ready for your sentence?” Alice: “But there has to be a verdict first.” Minister: “Sentence first, verdict afterwards!” Michael Friendly, professor of psychology, chair, quantitative methods program, York University

What Canada really needs are more unbuilt prison cells to deal with the rise in unreported crime. Because unbuilt prisons are so much cheaper than actual prisons, the Conservative government could announce twice as many new unbuilt cells and still save taxpayers money. Add imaginary prison guards and the government can deal with unemployment at virtually no cost. Then we can all go for tea down the rabbit hole. Norman Rosencwaig, Toronto

I await (the Fraser Institute’s) study supporting Stockwell Day’s contention that dinosaurs did indeed once roam the Earth with humans.  Mike Hutton, Ottawa

If Statistics Canada has numbers underscoring the declining rates of crime overall in Canada, yet we need more prisons, what is the game plan of this Conservative government in creating this wealth of new criminals?

Malcontent foreign affairs employees, dissenting board members of the Wheat Board, suspended staffers of rights and democracy agencies, outspoken RCMP officers, representatives of women’s shelters, scientists from Environment Canada speaking out on global warming, or simply the growing numbers of dissenting Canadians who are concerned about these now very transparent attacks on our democracy and rights across Canada?  Kevin Morris, Gatineau, Que.

Now, let’s hear from Dullard Doris himself:

(Day) also questioned the value of information gathered by the census, suggesting data older than a year is "untenable in today's information age."

That was two days ago when Stats Can statistics sucked and threatened the very fabric of our society, but folks, keep up with current events!

Yesterday, Doris wanted to make us all safe by spending 9 billion of our tax dollars building more prisons and revamping existing ones.  They would be needed, he warned us, because of all of those unreported criminals who have committed an alarming number of unreported (and unclassified) crimes!  OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!  Am I an unwitting victim of these faceless scum bags???!!!  Lock them up!!!!!  For doing whatever it is that has not been reported!!!!!  Hire Steve’s psychic hairdresser NOW!!!!!! 

And Stockboy knows this how?

A spokesperson for the justice minister said Day was referring to the General Social Survey conducted by Statistics Canada that asks individuals if they have been victims of crimes and if they reported the incidents to police.  Results of the 2009 survey conducted every five years will not be published until September, but the 2004 report does show a slight decrease, from 37 per cent to 34 per cent, of reported crimes.

Oh...Stats Can.  Totally sucks, except when it doesn’t, and only when you can leave out the parts you don’t like - the vast majority of unreported crimes aren’t reported because people don’t think they are serious enough to report.

Since Walks-With-Angels-Tony wasn’t around to rescue the floundering minister, Iceman Nicholson jumped into the maelstrom.

"If you ask, is there unreported crime in Canada, there’s unreported crime, there’s no question about it, Nicholson (said)..."I get anecdotal evidence and there are certainly some studies on that.”    

Anecdotal evidence.  I see...So we just need to sent in our cute, funny stories, the Minister of Justice will faithfully read each and every one, accord them fair, impartial weight, and develop policies accordingly.  Sort of like the wisdom of Solomon.  Hang on to your babies, ladies!

“We don’t govern on the basis of statistics,” Nicholson said. “We govern on the basis of what we hear from the public and what law enforcement agencies tell us. That has not changed in the four and a half years we’ve been in government.”

Oh?...OH???

In support of Day, Nicholson’s spokeswoman referred to the General Social Survey conducted by Statistics Canada that asks people if they’ve been victims of crimes and if they reported them to police.

That would be Stats Can, the department that churns out statistics...and doesn’t Stats Can tell government what the public thinks?

But wait!  Rob mentions listening to what enforcement agencies tell the Hasrperites.  So what have these agencies been saying? (emphasis mine)

Various police organizations - Canadian Association of Chiefs of Police, Canadian Association of Police Boards, and Canadian Police Association - have been lobbying MPs to ensure they do not support the removal of long guns from the gun registry. This has been a matter of considerable debate in Ottawa, and some members of the Liberal and New Democratic parties have said they intend to support the removal of long guns from control, which would Allow the Conservative party motion to pass.  The success of the long gun registry in preventing deaths seems overwhelming. (From Toronto Police Accountability Bulletin, No. 54, June 21, 2010.)

Whoops.  No bloody wonder Stevie the Petulant only made a three minute appearance today and took no questions.  The waters are just a bit to rough.