Oh well, there's good news

Superstitious Canadians needn't fear black cats or ladders this Friday the 13th, says an injury expert.

I guess what we should really fear is the ignorance of Canadians who actually need to be told this. Damn!

Some god you have there

And his followers engage in threats.

A debate over Sunday shopping has led P.E.I.'s transportation minister to suggest God had struck down the leader of the Opposition, who fell and injured herself after introducing a bill to allow Sunday openings year-round.

Oh sure, cause and effect.  What else could it be?

"I'm not what you call a saint, but I believe in God and I believe in [doing] the best I can do. You were at CBC pushing Sunday shopping, were you not? On TV?"  (Transportation Minister Ron MacKinley) asked Crane. "Right after that interview what happened?"

"We had a bit of an accident," Crane responded.

"Does that not tell you something?" said MacKinley.

"Like what?" said Crane.

Yeah, like what? Asks 900ft

"Like the Lord works in mysterious ways, and maybe you should start worrying what's going on here? We are going all the time, we're getting farther and farther away, whether it's prayers in the schools or whatever it is," said MacKinley.

Sounds rather threatening.  I thought it was Thor who wielded a hammer.  But since we’re on the subject of your god’s mysterious ways and how he breaks bones to make a point,  MacKinley, what was he trying to say here, and here, and here, and here?

Wow.  In MacKinley’s world, and that of others like him, we could just dispense with governments altogether and watch for...signs.  Except they do seem a little tricky to interpret.

How to gut your own argument, Christian style.

Use science and history to make it sound like your point has validity, then completely contradict yourself.

Let Charles Moore show you how it's done:

It might surprise some non-Christians to learn that Christmas as we know it wasn't always universally revered among devout Christians. It wasn't celebrated at all by the very early Church. Birthday observances in general were shunned as trappings of paganism.

Actually, Mr. Moore, most of us non-Christians do know that Christianity simply ripped of an assortment of rituals from other superstitious beliefs to rally Christians to their newer, more expensive, just as ridiculous seasonal cluster-fuck of magical items and supernatural icons.  I think it's more likely Christians who would be surprised to learn that very thing, since they think Christmas is a shiny, new celebration that no other religion had previously practiced under some other name.

Moore goes on to describe in a fair bit of detail how the Christian celebration of Christmas committed these thefts, who they stole from, and why.  Pretty accurate, historically.  Good so far.

Then he tries to make his point, which he fails to realize he has already defeated:

However, it is still the one time of year that Jesus Christ is thought and spoken of in somewhat reverential tones in popular culture, and that base is something devout Christians ought to build on, not retreat from.

...More than any other time of year, Christian images, language and principles achieve some serious traction in the public square at Christmastime, despite radical secular separationist attempts to eliminate them.

Christians: reclaim your holiday; and a Merry Christmas to all!

But Moore, didn’t you just tell us that nearly everything attributed to how Christians celebrate Christmas is stolen, or made up by conquerors wishing to keep a hold on the damn pagans, and in fact based on much older superstitious beliefs centered around that particular date?